Thread:Mr.Leger/@comment-32769624-20190923233151/@comment-37284975-20190924074924

Trust me, you have great potential as a writer. I think your newer pieces are better structured and syntactical aspects such as dialogue flow more effectively compared to some earlier ones, showing significant growth over three years.

If I could make a recommendation though, I recommend disclosing locations within the context of the piece rather than using them as chapter breaks. I see this in recent pieces such as "Fallout 51", "Yang Branwen", and "Ghost of a Chance." While it is great to have insight into character location when writing a script or wiki, I think in terms of narrative structure for stories, location is better suited within dialogue or monologues of characters rather than breaks. For example, in "Fallout 51", the second break says the setting is Lucky 38 Casino in New Vegas, but the following two sentences already have details that the characters are on the Vegas strip near Lucky 38, so the detail in the break is a bit unnecessary for those who already know Fallout lore.

It is somewhat derivative from "show, not tell", but I found it useful when I was theorycrafting a story with an acquaintance of mine for a story that never got off the ground. If what I was writing made more sense on Wikipedia than a novel, then I was writing it wrong. I am not sure if my advice is useful, as I have never written another piece since mid-2017, but I wish you the best of luck since you seem to have ambitions as a story or movie writer in the future.